For the Uncomfortably Comfortable


Wetting the
   Sunbed
The last acceptable form of class snobbery is science-based condescension toward middle-class people making unhealthy decisions.

Science began as a gentleman’s pursuit defined against the self-interested bullshittery of men with commercial concerns, and it still carries vestigial traces of its evolution: linguistic austerity, institutional bias, and expert froideur. The result is often a dismissive and uninquisitive attitude toward mass culture.


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Task Masters
There’s been a prestige inversion for white collar workers. Profits used to follow the product and prestige followed the profits. Not anymore.

Financialization has altered the job landscape and created a dynamic where employment is a certification (not unlike a college degree) awarded to people who get in, not people who build. That’s great news for low-conviction floaters....



Quality Vs. Control
If you’re reading this, there’s a roughly 78.5% chance you participated in the strangest sporting culture on earth: American Youth Soccer.

AYS isn’t a sport. It’s a way lazy (probably exhausted) parents moralize exertion. What makes it unique — aside from a spectacular failure to produce elite talent — is that it teaches kids to work, not to play.


Synthetic Heritage
Preppy is an aesthetic. Heritage is an idea – it describes a continuity of behavior, manners, and obligation that outlasts individuals.  

As the core ideas that once imbued American clothes with meaning — modesty, sure, but also civic responsibility – were undermined by a wildly successful half-century economic war on the middle class, heritage has been replaced with something untethered to history.








Prep Effects  ➺ Semiconfabulators ➺ Caddyshackles ➺ Effable Studs ➺ Polo Bearishness ➺ Socialized Headline ➺ Passive Regression ➺ Oolong Tea Party ➺ Horace Mayonnaise ➺ Weaponized Ambiance ➺ Loyalty Programmed ➺ Resting Rich Face ➺ Desktoplessness ➺ Fractal Snobbery ➺ Excessive Thrift ➺ Gen Executor ➺ Engineered Elites ➺ Leveraged Despair ➺ Professional Chicken ➺ Empirical Violence ➺ Rich Friend Gaps ➺ High-Stakes Bullshit

The Cheatsheet

Friday - Nov. 7, 2025
A weekly pre-dinner briefing for busy professionals who want to know just enough to seem like they know everything, Upper Middle’s “Cheatsheet” is the antidote to asp-y Axios apocrypha – a social briefing for people who care about status, taste, money, and how they co-mingle.

Status

Nature v. Network
A pan-Scandinavian team of researchers has analyzed the DNA of half a million people to measure the influence of genetics on educational and career choices. Their findings, published in Nature Genetics, suggest that “fields” are roughly 7% heritable because people tend to process information similarly to their ancestors. Specifically, the researchers found that psychological orientations on a things vs. people scale and doing vs. thinking scale were discernibly genetic. Technical types (engineers, data analysts) score higher on things and thinking; Practical workers (project managers, clinicians) score higher on things and doing; Social types (HR, comms, sales) score higher on people and doing1; Abstract workers (designers, strategists, researchers) score higher on people and thinking. But not everyone’s job reflects genetics. The results suggest prestige > nature.
Taste

Looking Commonwealthy
In early 17th century England, nobles wrapped themselves in brocade and jewels. Both men an women signified social status by being extra. Then, in 1649, Oliver Cromwell beheaded noted Jacobean clotheshorse King Charles I for attempting “to overthrow the rights and liberties of the people.” The monarchy was restored a few years later, but aristocrats at court had changed. They embraced a practical country chic inspired more by the help than the crown. Which is all to say that the Barbour x Levi’s denim coat is going to sell out faster than The Row sample sale.
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Money


Regressive Conflation
Between 2011 and 2012, President Obama invoked “millionaires and billionaires” frequently (34 times by our count) while promoting the Buffett Rule, which would have imposed a 30% minimum federal income tax on $1M salaries had it not died in congress. Obama didn’t coin the lilting phrase (Paul Simon sang about “loose affiliations of millionaires and billionaires” on Graceland), but he used when doing populism. Trump has also used it when doing populism. Interestingly, NYC Mayor Elect Zohran Mamdani, who does populism constantly, has never used it (at least as far as we can tell). NYC is home to plenty of single-digit millionaires who would take exemption to that lazy conflation. Poll numbers suggest Mamdani outperformed in that demo. Little thing called word choice.




STATUS REPORTS

Upper Middle’s “Status Reports” use survey data to decode how social, cultural, and financial capital shape both our choices and our sense of self. Each report draws on correlations to expose impulse-driving biases and the subtle ways we’ve been socialized—for better and for worse. In understanding people like us, we understand ourselves. THERAPYSPEAK

The Upper Middle “Therapyspeak Survey” examined how we engage with mental health professionals (and how we engage with each other after engaging with mental health professionals).
764—39/23
Doc—45456

FINANCIAL WHOOPSIES

The Upper Middle “Financial Whoopsies Survey” examined how we try (and frequently fail) to make money with money and the mentality that leads to less than effective investing behavior.

764—39/23
Doc—45456




GUILTY PLEASURESThe Upper Middle “Very Guilty Pleasures” examines how elites think about the their least elite habits and behaviors – and why we can’t help but hate ourselves. 764—39/23 
Doc—45456



EASE MAXXING

The Upper Middle “Self-Presentation Survey” examined how we present ourselves in social settings – particularly among perceived peers. Specifically, it dove deep on soft signaling.
764—39/23
Doc—45456


RARIFIED WILDS

The Upper Middle “Outdoorsy Survey” examined how we engage with, conceptualize, and fetishize nature. The survey data suggests that Nalgene-carrying weekend trippers clustered in metroplexes valorize “pure” nature, but can’t necessarily afford it.
764—39/23
Doc—45456



ANTSY NEIGHBORS

Our “Where Next Survey” explored how we think about moving: not just where we might go, but how we consider what those choices say about our class position, taste, and willingness to compromise. The results indicate that we’re house-proud and restless,
764—39/23
Doc—45456



Zero-Martini Lunches 
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A live conversation series with authors and scholars on the forces shaping this privileged American life, “Zero-Martini Lunches” are Chatham House Rules forums where big ideas get batted around while everyone eats sad desk salads. The one Zoom meeting you’ll actually look forward to attending.

 
Ruth Braunstein
AndreaCampbell
Eunji Kim
Megan Greenwell
Michael Grynbaum
Leigh Clare La Berge
Augustine Sedgwick
Michelle Jackson
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The Editor

An award-winning & losing journalist, Andrew Burmon has served as the Editor of Inverse, Fatherly, and SPY. He is the co-author of Fatherhood (Harper Horizon) and the product of elite schools, New England ennui, psychopharmacology, Catholic/ Jewish guilt, too many books, smart women, and his own bad decisions. As an infant, he pulled the silver spoon from his mouth, stuck it in his eye, and cried.





                   




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