THEUPPER MIDDLE
Shoppe







HIGH-STATUS PRODUCTS FOR HIGH-STATUS PEOPLE







The Faux Paw Tee
Rep your new favorite newsletter and participate in a liberation movement and class struggle focused on the rights of individuals and, more specifically, the rights of individuals that had a 3.6 GPA at Vassar.



>  $24.99






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SS2017.     
USD 199.99.        




The Explicit Footage Tee BE PROUD OF YOUR ADDICTIONS
(THAT AREN’T PORN)

>$32.99


The Swole Porter Tee GIVE GRANDMA A LAST LAUGH
BEFORE SHE KICKS IT.

>$27.99


The Work Lunch Tee CELEBRATE THE OCEAN’S ENDLESS
BOUNTY AND YOUR T&E ACCOUNT.

>$27.99
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The Prime Time Tee LET THE WORLD KNOW THAT YOU’LL
CONNECTICUT A BITCH

>$27.99




The Queen Martha Tee GIVE FLOWERS TO AN OCTAGENARIAN
SEX PISTOL

>$27.99


The Weird Flex Tee MAKE IT CLEAR WHO’S REALLY
DOING THE HEAVY LIFTING

>$27.99
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The Work Event Tee IT’S NOT WHAT YOU KNOW. IT’S
WHO ANSWERS YOUR EMAIL.

>$27.99




The Potent Potables Tee NOTHING WRONG WITH
KNOWING STUFF .

>$32.99


The Burst Bubbles Sweatshirt
Get cozy while listening to the distinct sound of pitchforks being sharpened somewhere in the distance.

>  $39.99






>



SS2017.     
USD 199.99.        





The Unintentional Preppy Tee YOU DON’T NEED TO BE A HITTER
TO BE A HIT.

>$32.99



The Morning C-Word Mug
The perfect gift for the sex partner with whom you will remained financially entangled until you both die in the commodious facility selected by your ungrateful children.

>  $17.99






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“Since the 1970s, we have witnessed the forces of market fundamentalism strip education of its public values, critical content, and civic responsibilities as part of its broader goal of creating new subjects wedded to consumerism, risk-free relationships, and the destruction of the social state.”