The virality of the phrase “very mindful, very demure,” introduced to the discourse by beauty TikToker Jools Lebron earlier this month and since incorporated into Zillow, Verizon, Skims, and Dunkin’ Donuts ad campaigns, is largely attributable to the oddness of that fourth word. “Demure” seems like an antiquated descriptor and a feminine directive out of whack with current sensibilities. In fact, it’s only one of those things.

Peak “demure” hit around 1825, when it constituted .00007% of words used in English-language novels. It subsequently fell out of favor (.00001%) prior to a literary resurgence (.000055%) that started in 2000 and owes nothing to Lebron. To understand why “demure” came back, it helps to understand why it got popular in the first place: The rise of the “Silver Fork” (or “Fashionable”) novel.

The “Silver Fork” novel was popular entertainment for middle-class women during the Victorian Era. The books – Vanity Fair by Thackery (the only good one), Vivian Grey by Disraeli, Godolphin by Edward Bulwer-Lytton [2] – were gently plotted, formulaic romances between aristocrats. The less-than-penetrating prose didn’t put off the readership because the books were also educational texts. The Empire was in full swing; wealth was doing something it very rarely does and trickling down. The Working Class was transforming into the bourgeoisie, but status conscious women (that was the target) didn’t know how to throw a proper dinner party or how to avoid looking pretentious. The instructional premise of “Silver Fork” writing is that aristocrats know these things.

“The higher the rank, indeed, the less pretense, because there is less to pretend to,” explains a dandy’s mother in 1841’s Cecil. “This is the chief reason why our manners are better than low persons… theirs are affected because they think to imitate ours; and whatever is evidently borrowed becomes vulgar.”

What is demure? Simply put, it’s the opposite of vulgar. It’s a quality that infuses meaning into both the behavior and status symbols – rosewood brushes, transferware, diamond jewelry, buhl cabinets – in old novels and, same nevermind, smartly applied TikTok beauty products. “Demure” describes the aspiration to consume and behave in an unaffected way within the context of vulgar affectations. That its resurgence should coincide with record high credit card debt and a mass return to the office, which has very specific, rapidly evolving social norms, feels borderline inevitable.

As for marketers going all in on the meme: It’s a way to talk about conscious consumerism without getting pedantic or going full activist. Can a Dunkin’ donut be demure? Sure, if it’s glazed. Strawberry frosted with sprinkles? Pssh.